It’s something I’ve always been a little jealous of… you know, people who run. People who run marathons.
Or even just people who can run longer than two minutes with weezing and heaving and looking like they might have a heart attack at any minute. (At least, thats how I thought I looked before I ever really started trying.)
So recently I’ve been trying to run. I don’t “try” it all the time and when I started up with it I would do 10 minutes of running/walking. Two minutes running, two minutes walking. And I hated every second of it.
Every. single. second.
I tend to try the treadmill after I’ve done all my other workouts — after the elliptical or the stepper or the weights. For some reason, the treadmill terrifies me (but not nearly as much as a spinning class would! Thats my Mt. Everest.)
So I worked my way up to 15 minutes of running/walking. But I never really — made it my workout. Or at least, the goal of my workout. It was always sort of an after thought. Then I realized — if I want to achieve my goals and become the person I want to be — I’m probably going to have to give in to running.
Today, it starts.
I got to the gym & it was the first machine I tackled. I put in those headphones, blasted my Crystal Bowersox (“Holy Toledo,” “Lonely Won’t Come Around,” and “On the Run” — which I basically have on repeat at the gym anymore!) and I started. Walk two minutes. And then I’d run a few. Maybe four. Maybe.
And this is going to sound ridiculous — but I didn’t run four. Or five. Or six.
I RAN SEVEN MINTUES. In a row! This is huge.
And I kept running. Only stopping once in awhile to catch myself, but then kept on running. I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill today — and 20 of those were spent running. And I didn’t really hate it.
Actually — those first 7 minutes of running — I think I enjoyed.
I felt so proud of it! And then I realized…maybe I can do this. Maybe I can be a runner.
I might even dare say it — maybe someday I’ll even run a marathon!
WOAH! Lets not get ahead of ourselves there, Little Miss.
Anyway. The point is. Today I ran. Tomorrow? I’ll run some more. And we’ll take it from there.
Later I went to lunch with my sister & also purchased some skinny jeans in a size a little higher than expected. But thats okay! It’s a different store, a different brand, a different style.
Plus, now that I’m a runner — ;) — I won’t be in that size for long. Right? Right.
Here we go. Where I’ve been, where I am & where I want to go.
This blog is to keep me focused. To keep my mind on the goals I have — and how I want to change my life. I’m already 26, time to start working towards happiness.
The best way to work towards goals is to list them, right? So the quick & dirty - I want to be happy by 28.
Happiness can be found in reaching these goals by Fall 2012. (I think. I know… I hope.)
1) Be in Arizona by the time I’m 28. Call it home again. Wake up every morning under that blue sky and know that I am there because I am CHOOSING to be there. Maybe it’ll work out; maybe it won’t. But at least I’ll be trying — taking my fate into my own hands, create a life for myself there again.
2) Stop walking a fine line between obese/fat & average. Okay, lets be honest — obese. Lose another 50 lbs. I’ve lost weight in the past & kept a good chunk of it off, but I need to get that motivation & drive back. I’m working out fairly often again, I’m trying to eat healthier (eating more veggies & fruits than I EVER have in my LIFE!) …but something isn’t clicking because the weight isn’t coming off. I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with all those little cheats that keep slipping in. Nope. Probably not. But I need to keep working towards that goal of a happier, healthier me. Even if it takes two years to come off, slowly work my way to a healthier Little Miss.
3) Be debt free. (Minus those student loans, I’ll cut myself a little slack there.) But seriously, for realz. I already got the ball rolling this past fall. I have no credit cards - nada. Just me, my checking & my savings. Operation: Move Back Home will be successful, but only if I keep on top of things. I’ll have 16 months to apply all that money I’m saving to debt. And it will suck. But once its gone — I’ll be free.
4) Realize I am worthy. Learn to love & trust again… But — only if I meet someone worthy — and only if they are REALLY who they claim to be. And at some point (maybe by 28, maybe by 38, maybe by 88…) at some point I’ll learn to love again. And trust again. But not until they are worthy. Because I am. And if I need to repeat that on a daily basis, so be it. But I am worthy. (I might need to start writing it 100xs a day on a chalkboard, but at some point it will really click.)
5) Stop swearing so much. It’s not pretty.
Alright. There we go. I feel those are pretty reachable goals, right? And at least — very needed. So here we go. My attempt at a better me. It’ll be alright again.
In fact, it may be even better.
"Little Miss do your best, Little Miss never rest, Little Miss be my guest, I’ll make more anytime that it runs out.
Little Miss you’ll go far, Little Miss hide your scars, Little Miss who you are is so much more than you like to talk about.
It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose ‘til you win It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright It’ll be alright again.” —Sugarland—